It is kind of comical that I am blogging right now. This year has been the busiest yet and with the craziest ups and downs. Losses, stress, huge events coming up, milestones and firsts reached by all my children, friends, involvement with organizations and volunteering. Over the years there are a few beliefs I have held that have helped make all the business of life so special and the challenging times easier.
Find another family in your situation. This is such a blessing. No matter how family and friends try to help, if they are not in the day to day of your life all the reading and trying in the world can not make them get it. The special people that are brought into your life and get it are so important. Never take them for granted.
Relationships are strong not because we are heroes, take control or change things for someone else, but because we admit we don't always get it and yet we extend a hand, an ear or just encouragement. Never underestimate the value of keeping in touch, really keeping up to date and being supportive. Genuine concern and strength is often holding someones hand for things of which no one has control and is such a blessing.
Celebrate every moment you can!!!!!!!!!!!
Always give a hug and never treat an "I Love You" like a piece of candy in your back pocket. Love doesn't work that way.
Stop and just listen to your kids conversations, they are the most precious thing you will ever hear. There is nothing more thrilling then spending simple time with your kids. Precious moments that go by and can never be replaced.
Always keep an open mind when hearing advice and never just discard an idea, it is more then ok to take parts.
Remember don't get discouraged, find what works for your kids, your spouse and you. Go with it!!!!
Never let other people's judgements get to you, they don't have the view to see clearly what you do. They will never understand the mountains you climb or the valleys you trudge through. Let them have their judgements, that is all they are.
Never give up and just remember it is all about moving forward.............
This one is important. When you have a choice to be offended, which happens often. Choose to look at it like an opportunity for you to share some information or enlighten others. Tell your self "I am sure that comment or action came from a good place so this is an opportunity to spread some knowledge around." Kindly share some info and wait to see how it is received. If it isn't received well might just be a sign to move on and not concern your self to much with it again. Time is precious and surrounding your self by supportive understanding people is so important.
LOVE EACH PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE! LIFE IS FULL OF ENDLESS FLOWERS IN EVERY COLOR, SHAPE AND SIZE. IT IS WHAT MAKES A GARDEN MAJESTIC.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
A Hot Topic
Having kids with Autism is an interesting adventure. It pushes your creativity and expands the way you think. Often children with Autism see the world very cut and dry, black and white. The gray areas are a special challenge. We have to use every opportunity to expand and explain these areas. All kids have a very keen eye and are very observant. Relationships and peoples behavior are often not easy to explain.
I think it is especially important we teach our kids to stand up for themselves. Individuals with rough starts in life or for some other reason for a lack of a better way to put it are just mean often pass on their hurt by bullying others. Often our kids are easy targets for bullying which makes the thought of our children running into and being able to identifying who the bullies are even scarier.
So here is my bit of advice. Teach them to always talk to others for help, protect themselves, and remind them that the actions of a bully have more to do with the feelings they have about themselves then those they hurt. Teach them to follow their gut instinct. I guess that is the hard part teaching them who those people are. That is where the difficulty lies, our kids and being able to protect themselves, fully process and communicate to us what is going on.
A bully gains power by making others feel weak, alone or ganged up on. If you start to feel that way, your dealing with a bully. A bully will try and make themselves a main character in your life's play, they are unrelenting. If you feel like someone is always just trying to cause trouble and being plain mean you are probably dealing with a bully. A bully will always get satisfaction at someone else's expense and are always grasping at control. If you see someone being bullied or personally feel bullied call it out, so your kids know what it looks like. Talk to your kids, teach them the signs so they can steer clear from bullies. Not easy lessons at all but so important for our kids who are often so easily targeted.
Also teach them like everything else in this world bullies come in all forms. Kids on a playground, family, supposed friends, strangers, coworkers, teachers, coaches, could be anyone, you name it they take every shape and form. Teach your kids to know in their heart bullies do things because of their own hurt and that it has nothing to do with your kids. Teach our kids to ignore what the bullies would like them to believe about themselves and that instead they are special, beautiful, smart and fun individuals that deserve respect, and love. Reinforce that no individual has the right to bully another or make them feel like any less of a person. Teach them to be ok with people voicing their opinions and being themselves, differences are a beautiful thing. So teach, teach, then teach again, show by example and pray.
I think it is especially important we teach our kids to stand up for themselves. Individuals with rough starts in life or for some other reason for a lack of a better way to put it are just mean often pass on their hurt by bullying others. Often our kids are easy targets for bullying which makes the thought of our children running into and being able to identifying who the bullies are even scarier.
So here is my bit of advice. Teach them to always talk to others for help, protect themselves, and remind them that the actions of a bully have more to do with the feelings they have about themselves then those they hurt. Teach them to follow their gut instinct. I guess that is the hard part teaching them who those people are. That is where the difficulty lies, our kids and being able to protect themselves, fully process and communicate to us what is going on.
A bully gains power by making others feel weak, alone or ganged up on. If you start to feel that way, your dealing with a bully. A bully will try and make themselves a main character in your life's play, they are unrelenting. If you feel like someone is always just trying to cause trouble and being plain mean you are probably dealing with a bully. A bully will always get satisfaction at someone else's expense and are always grasping at control. If you see someone being bullied or personally feel bullied call it out, so your kids know what it looks like. Talk to your kids, teach them the signs so they can steer clear from bullies. Not easy lessons at all but so important for our kids who are often so easily targeted.
Also teach them like everything else in this world bullies come in all forms. Kids on a playground, family, supposed friends, strangers, coworkers, teachers, coaches, could be anyone, you name it they take every shape and form. Teach your kids to know in their heart bullies do things because of their own hurt and that it has nothing to do with your kids. Teach our kids to ignore what the bullies would like them to believe about themselves and that instead they are special, beautiful, smart and fun individuals that deserve respect, and love. Reinforce that no individual has the right to bully another or make them feel like any less of a person. Teach them to be ok with people voicing their opinions and being themselves, differences are a beautiful thing. So teach, teach, then teach again, show by example and pray.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Never Underestimate
Never underestimate someones potential, it is limitless for all of us.
Never forget moving forward is all that matters. Throw the bench marks out and look for progress forward and be proud!
Never hold back an "I am sorry" ever. People who have difficulty or can not say it don't often take a hard enough look in the mirror. This is a red flag!
Never forget to recognize your strengths as well as your weaknesses, growing stops when you stop acknowledging your weaknesses and your world becomes smaller.
Never stop asking, inquiring and being there for those you love. Real strength is often not taking control and charging in to do something or rescuing but holding someones hand for things of which no one has control.
When you say "I love you" make sure you are saying you love all of them, not just an image of them you have created to fit your world. We are all made up like a puzzle, denying one piece of the puzzle means denying the whole picture.
Speak your mind with kindness, honesty and from the heart. A good heart always shines through.
At the end of the day take a few minutes to recap and count all your blessings, say a pray, and send good thoughts to all. ( Ok, so I am human, and a couple of extra good thoughts and prayers for those who are close to your heart.)
Never forget moving forward is all that matters. Throw the bench marks out and look for progress forward and be proud!
Never hold back an "I am sorry" ever. People who have difficulty or can not say it don't often take a hard enough look in the mirror. This is a red flag!
Never forget to recognize your strengths as well as your weaknesses, growing stops when you stop acknowledging your weaknesses and your world becomes smaller.
Never stop asking, inquiring and being there for those you love. Real strength is often not taking control and charging in to do something or rescuing but holding someones hand for things of which no one has control.
When you say "I love you" make sure you are saying you love all of them, not just an image of them you have created to fit your world. We are all made up like a puzzle, denying one piece of the puzzle means denying the whole picture.
Speak your mind with kindness, honesty and from the heart. A good heart always shines through.
At the end of the day take a few minutes to recap and count all your blessings, say a pray, and send good thoughts to all. ( Ok, so I am human, and a couple of extra good thoughts and prayers for those who are close to your heart.)
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