It is kind of comical that I am blogging right now. This year has been the busiest yet and with the craziest ups and downs. Losses, stress, huge events coming up, milestones and firsts reached by all my children, friends, involvement with organizations and volunteering. Over the years there are a few beliefs I have held that have helped make all the business of life so special and the challenging times easier.
Find another family in your situation. This is such a blessing. No matter how family and friends try to help, if they are not in the day to day of your life all the reading and trying in the world can not make them get it. The special people that are brought into your life and get it are so important. Never take them for granted.
Relationships are strong not because we are heroes, take control or change things for someone else, but because we admit we don't always get it and yet we extend a hand, an ear or just encouragement. Never underestimate the value of keeping in touch, really keeping up to date and being supportive. Genuine concern and strength is often holding someones hand for things of which no one has control and is such a blessing.
Celebrate every moment you can!!!!!!!!!!!
Always give a hug and never treat an "I Love You" like a piece of candy in your back pocket. Love doesn't work that way.
Stop and just listen to your kids conversations, they are the most precious thing you will ever hear. There is nothing more thrilling then spending simple time with your kids. Precious moments that go by and can never be replaced.
Always keep an open mind when hearing advice and never just discard an idea, it is more then ok to take parts.
Remember don't get discouraged, find what works for your kids, your spouse and you. Go with it!!!!
Never let other people's judgements get to you, they don't have the view to see clearly what you do. They will never understand the mountains you climb or the valleys you trudge through. Let them have their judgements, that is all they are.
Never give up and just remember it is all about moving forward.............
This one is important. When you have a choice to be offended, which happens often. Choose to look at it like an opportunity for you to share some information or enlighten others. Tell your self "I am sure that comment or action came from a good place so this is an opportunity to spread some knowledge around." Kindly share some info and wait to see how it is received. If it isn't received well might just be a sign to move on and not concern your self to much with it again. Time is precious and surrounding your self by supportive understanding people is so important.
LOVE EACH PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE! LIFE IS FULL OF ENDLESS FLOWERS IN EVERY COLOR, SHAPE AND SIZE. IT IS WHAT MAKES A GARDEN MAJESTIC.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
A Hot Topic
Having kids with Autism is an interesting adventure. It pushes your creativity and expands the way you think. Often children with Autism see the world very cut and dry, black and white. The gray areas are a special challenge. We have to use every opportunity to expand and explain these areas. All kids have a very keen eye and are very observant. Relationships and peoples behavior are often not easy to explain.
I think it is especially important we teach our kids to stand up for themselves. Individuals with rough starts in life or for some other reason for a lack of a better way to put it are just mean often pass on their hurt by bullying others. Often our kids are easy targets for bullying which makes the thought of our children running into and being able to identifying who the bullies are even scarier.
So here is my bit of advice. Teach them to always talk to others for help, protect themselves, and remind them that the actions of a bully have more to do with the feelings they have about themselves then those they hurt. Teach them to follow their gut instinct. I guess that is the hard part teaching them who those people are. That is where the difficulty lies, our kids and being able to protect themselves, fully process and communicate to us what is going on.
A bully gains power by making others feel weak, alone or ganged up on. If you start to feel that way, your dealing with a bully. A bully will try and make themselves a main character in your life's play, they are unrelenting. If you feel like someone is always just trying to cause trouble and being plain mean you are probably dealing with a bully. A bully will always get satisfaction at someone else's expense and are always grasping at control. If you see someone being bullied or personally feel bullied call it out, so your kids know what it looks like. Talk to your kids, teach them the signs so they can steer clear from bullies. Not easy lessons at all but so important for our kids who are often so easily targeted.
Also teach them like everything else in this world bullies come in all forms. Kids on a playground, family, supposed friends, strangers, coworkers, teachers, coaches, could be anyone, you name it they take every shape and form. Teach your kids to know in their heart bullies do things because of their own hurt and that it has nothing to do with your kids. Teach our kids to ignore what the bullies would like them to believe about themselves and that instead they are special, beautiful, smart and fun individuals that deserve respect, and love. Reinforce that no individual has the right to bully another or make them feel like any less of a person. Teach them to be ok with people voicing their opinions and being themselves, differences are a beautiful thing. So teach, teach, then teach again, show by example and pray.
I think it is especially important we teach our kids to stand up for themselves. Individuals with rough starts in life or for some other reason for a lack of a better way to put it are just mean often pass on their hurt by bullying others. Often our kids are easy targets for bullying which makes the thought of our children running into and being able to identifying who the bullies are even scarier.
So here is my bit of advice. Teach them to always talk to others for help, protect themselves, and remind them that the actions of a bully have more to do with the feelings they have about themselves then those they hurt. Teach them to follow their gut instinct. I guess that is the hard part teaching them who those people are. That is where the difficulty lies, our kids and being able to protect themselves, fully process and communicate to us what is going on.
A bully gains power by making others feel weak, alone or ganged up on. If you start to feel that way, your dealing with a bully. A bully will try and make themselves a main character in your life's play, they are unrelenting. If you feel like someone is always just trying to cause trouble and being plain mean you are probably dealing with a bully. A bully will always get satisfaction at someone else's expense and are always grasping at control. If you see someone being bullied or personally feel bullied call it out, so your kids know what it looks like. Talk to your kids, teach them the signs so they can steer clear from bullies. Not easy lessons at all but so important for our kids who are often so easily targeted.
Also teach them like everything else in this world bullies come in all forms. Kids on a playground, family, supposed friends, strangers, coworkers, teachers, coaches, could be anyone, you name it they take every shape and form. Teach your kids to know in their heart bullies do things because of their own hurt and that it has nothing to do with your kids. Teach our kids to ignore what the bullies would like them to believe about themselves and that instead they are special, beautiful, smart and fun individuals that deserve respect, and love. Reinforce that no individual has the right to bully another or make them feel like any less of a person. Teach them to be ok with people voicing their opinions and being themselves, differences are a beautiful thing. So teach, teach, then teach again, show by example and pray.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Never Underestimate
Never underestimate someones potential, it is limitless for all of us.
Never forget moving forward is all that matters. Throw the bench marks out and look for progress forward and be proud!
Never hold back an "I am sorry" ever. People who have difficulty or can not say it don't often take a hard enough look in the mirror. This is a red flag!
Never forget to recognize your strengths as well as your weaknesses, growing stops when you stop acknowledging your weaknesses and your world becomes smaller.
Never stop asking, inquiring and being there for those you love. Real strength is often not taking control and charging in to do something or rescuing but holding someones hand for things of which no one has control.
When you say "I love you" make sure you are saying you love all of them, not just an image of them you have created to fit your world. We are all made up like a puzzle, denying one piece of the puzzle means denying the whole picture.
Speak your mind with kindness, honesty and from the heart. A good heart always shines through.
At the end of the day take a few minutes to recap and count all your blessings, say a pray, and send good thoughts to all. ( Ok, so I am human, and a couple of extra good thoughts and prayers for those who are close to your heart.)
Never forget moving forward is all that matters. Throw the bench marks out and look for progress forward and be proud!
Never hold back an "I am sorry" ever. People who have difficulty or can not say it don't often take a hard enough look in the mirror. This is a red flag!
Never forget to recognize your strengths as well as your weaknesses, growing stops when you stop acknowledging your weaknesses and your world becomes smaller.
Never stop asking, inquiring and being there for those you love. Real strength is often not taking control and charging in to do something or rescuing but holding someones hand for things of which no one has control.
When you say "I love you" make sure you are saying you love all of them, not just an image of them you have created to fit your world. We are all made up like a puzzle, denying one piece of the puzzle means denying the whole picture.
Speak your mind with kindness, honesty and from the heart. A good heart always shines through.
At the end of the day take a few minutes to recap and count all your blessings, say a pray, and send good thoughts to all. ( Ok, so I am human, and a couple of extra good thoughts and prayers for those who are close to your heart.)
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
When Words Can Not Explain
My son goes through much. No one realizes what a hero he is to me and what he endures. Please take a moment and watch these videos and pass them along. These videos explain what words can not.
http://blog.theautismsite.com/
http://blog.theautismsite.com/
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
18 years
There is nothing like motherhood. There is no school on earth like it. Everyone chooses a different method, priorities and learns life long lessons. It has been 18 years since I began on the most amazing journey and have learned more then I possibly thought I could have. I guess that is the beauty of life if you are really living and interacting with those around you, you never stop learning.
Having children with disabilities really makes you recognize somethings in a different way that others may take for granted. It also makes you want to celebrate your child's accomplishments all that much more. My son is about to graduate on May 24th in Manhattan, Kansas. He is an amazing son. So blessed by all he has taught me and I hope that I have been able to give him the security of knowing I'll always be there for him and those who come into his life. It has been a truly amazing journey. If I think back through 18 years I think of his smiling face and all he has learned and who he has grown into. I am so proud of him and so excited to see where he travels from here.
My husband works hard at his job which enables me to stay home with our children. This is no easy task and he loves our kids dearly. He has a very special connection with each and I can only imagine he has his very own distinct view of fatherhood. Thank you for being their for our son. He is amazing and I am so grateful we can celebrate our son together. Love you!
We have always lived at a great distance from extended family. This makes connections sometimes difficult to create, but I am so grateful for our family that has year after year gone above and beyond to be there on a regular basis for my son. We lost my father-in-law in October of 2014, but I know on his yearly visits he gave each of the kids some very precious gifts. His time, attention, love, and interest in their interests. My father-in-law always wanted to know about the kids, the ups and downs and everything in between. My grandmothers have always remembered his birthdays, Christmas, have phone conversations with him and we have been blessed by very special visits. Thank you to his Great Aunts, Great Uncles, Cousins that have gotten to know him over the years during times of celebration as well as losses and have always made the most of getting to know and love him. Thank you so much dear friends, doctors and countless others who have made our daily journey so much less overwhelming. All are a blessing and so appreciated.
When it comes to my oldest an incredible thank you goes out to my Dad. My son looks up to him so much. It is so nice to see the kids be so at ease and so much of themselves with my parents. My oldest and my dad have so many common interests. Whether it is talking games, SciFi or Dr. Who my Dad and my son will always have a very special bond. Seeing them together is truly indescribable. My dad has been fighting so hard to beat this awful cancer and I have been praying and praying for him. I know my son has been on pins and needles too. I think by the time most arrive at my age we see a little clearer and for the most part joke off the missteps our parents made and a big thank you and a lot of love is what resides. There is something very special though when you are grateful for the love and connections your parents have made with your children.
In the beginning of this journey I was scared not knowing how to handle one piece of news after another. I think especially my parents have been on this educational journey with me. My misstep was for some reason expecting someone to say some magical words that would make this less scary. Their misstep was probably for trying too. In the end life happens, if you are smart you grow and learn. If you are blessed you have an open heart void of grudges, nastiness and you find much more inner strength then you knew you had. You know your heart and dreams, you follow them and give everything you can and that fills you in return. So blessed to know my heart and have followed my dreams.
My son has overcome so many obstacles, I could not be prouder. He is an incredible man. I have been blessed to go from carrying him in my arms as his mother to being his mother/teacher/friend and now his adulthood relationships begin. I am simply so incredibly grateful, proud and excited to see where he makes his path. So the planning of my next job is half done. This task is giving my son a celebration filled with all the people that have been so important in his life, to celebrate who he is and to let him know we will always be their for him as life throws him everything from curve balls to roses and he continues on his path. SO proud of WHO YOU ARE my son!!!!!!
Having children with disabilities really makes you recognize somethings in a different way that others may take for granted. It also makes you want to celebrate your child's accomplishments all that much more. My son is about to graduate on May 24th in Manhattan, Kansas. He is an amazing son. So blessed by all he has taught me and I hope that I have been able to give him the security of knowing I'll always be there for him and those who come into his life. It has been a truly amazing journey. If I think back through 18 years I think of his smiling face and all he has learned and who he has grown into. I am so proud of him and so excited to see where he travels from here.
My husband works hard at his job which enables me to stay home with our children. This is no easy task and he loves our kids dearly. He has a very special connection with each and I can only imagine he has his very own distinct view of fatherhood. Thank you for being their for our son. He is amazing and I am so grateful we can celebrate our son together. Love you!
We have always lived at a great distance from extended family. This makes connections sometimes difficult to create, but I am so grateful for our family that has year after year gone above and beyond to be there on a regular basis for my son. We lost my father-in-law in October of 2014, but I know on his yearly visits he gave each of the kids some very precious gifts. His time, attention, love, and interest in their interests. My father-in-law always wanted to know about the kids, the ups and downs and everything in between. My grandmothers have always remembered his birthdays, Christmas, have phone conversations with him and we have been blessed by very special visits. Thank you to his Great Aunts, Great Uncles, Cousins that have gotten to know him over the years during times of celebration as well as losses and have always made the most of getting to know and love him. Thank you so much dear friends, doctors and countless others who have made our daily journey so much less overwhelming. All are a blessing and so appreciated.
When it comes to my oldest an incredible thank you goes out to my Dad. My son looks up to him so much. It is so nice to see the kids be so at ease and so much of themselves with my parents. My oldest and my dad have so many common interests. Whether it is talking games, SciFi or Dr. Who my Dad and my son will always have a very special bond. Seeing them together is truly indescribable. My dad has been fighting so hard to beat this awful cancer and I have been praying and praying for him. I know my son has been on pins and needles too. I think by the time most arrive at my age we see a little clearer and for the most part joke off the missteps our parents made and a big thank you and a lot of love is what resides. There is something very special though when you are grateful for the love and connections your parents have made with your children.
In the beginning of this journey I was scared not knowing how to handle one piece of news after another. I think especially my parents have been on this educational journey with me. My misstep was for some reason expecting someone to say some magical words that would make this less scary. Their misstep was probably for trying too. In the end life happens, if you are smart you grow and learn. If you are blessed you have an open heart void of grudges, nastiness and you find much more inner strength then you knew you had. You know your heart and dreams, you follow them and give everything you can and that fills you in return. So blessed to know my heart and have followed my dreams.
My son has overcome so many obstacles, I could not be prouder. He is an incredible man. I have been blessed to go from carrying him in my arms as his mother to being his mother/teacher/friend and now his adulthood relationships begin. I am simply so incredibly grateful, proud and excited to see where he makes his path. So the planning of my next job is half done. This task is giving my son a celebration filled with all the people that have been so important in his life, to celebrate who he is and to let him know we will always be their for him as life throws him everything from curve balls to roses and he continues on his path. SO proud of WHO YOU ARE my son!!!!!!
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