HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I just want to say Happy Mother's Day to everyone. I know what I am looking forward to this Mothers Day. My husbands gift of a family picture (Thanks Honey, means a bunch!) and some special one on one time with each of the kids. In the past, I have really enjoyed when each of the kids have picked an activity to do with me. Whether it is us planting a flower that they each pick out, playing a video game, or even making a special desert in the kitchen with them. I am looking forward to our house being filled with activity and maybe a few relaxing moments at the end of the day with my husband! I wish everyone a beautiful Mothers Day filled with many hugs and kisses. Thanks for everything you do!

I had received the following article in the Schafer report yesterday and decided I would post it for Mothers Day.


Happy Mother's Day: Mothers Lie

By Lori Borgman

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn's arrival say they don't care what sex the baby is. They just want to have ten fingers and ten toes.

Mothers lie.

Every mother wants so much more.
She wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin.
She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.

She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two).
Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions.
She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class.
Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants.

Some mothers get babies with something more.

Maybe you're one who got a baby with a condition you couldn't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palate that didn't close.
The doctor's words took your breath away.
It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming, and it knocked the wind right out of you.

Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled him for a checkup, and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the brunt of devastating news.
It didn't seem possible.
That didn't run in your family.
Could this really be happening in your lifetime?

There's no such thing as a perfect body.
Everybody will bear something at some time or another.
Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery.
Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.

Frankly, I don't know how you do it.
Sometimes you mothers scare me.
How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a day.
How you monitor tests, track medications, and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear.

I wonder how you endure the clichés and the platitudes, the well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike.
I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one-saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary.
You snap, you bark, you bite.
You didn't volunteer for this, you didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling,
"Choose me, God. Choose me! I've got what it takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so let me do it for you. From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack.
You've developed the strength of the draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil.
You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.

You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability.
You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-in-law.
You're a wonder.

A Week Goes By!

Last week ended with a recheck on my surgery. I had to be put on an antibiotic. When my OBGYN gave me an exam she found a second lump in my other breast. This Thursday I have to go in for a mammogram and ultra sound. Basically, I have discovered that with what I was originally put through I should have had the mammogram and ultra sound done first. Then have been sedated and had a breast specialist do the surgery. It still has not sealed completely. So , now I am going through this all over again. This has become incredibly frustrating. In all honesty, I just don't have the time to deal with this and go through this. Not to mention having my mind wonder when I find or the doctor finds a lump. These doctors appointments, surgery and tests are simply taking to much time and that is something there never seems to be enough of. My husband has been very supportive and says getting this stuff done is more important. I just worry about him having to take time off work. I will know more on Thursday but the doctor also wondered if the first one was removed all the way so this is really just a mess. She assured me she would send me to a breast specialist to have any further surgery done. I guess the reason I went to my MD with this was we were not planning on our family getting larger so I figured the MD could watch my feminine stuff. Apparently, not the right assumption.

So, it was a rough last half of the week. Saturday was nice. Sunday morning we went to church. It was a very nice service. The boys were all dressed in ties and were perfect gentlemen. My daughter was adorable in a little satin white and rose colored summer dress. My oldest handled it beautifully. My third son started stimming right before service. Fortunately, they had a nursery that you could see right in from the chapel. He really did well and played with a couple other children. My daughter handled the service very nicely for about 30 minutes then I went into the nursery with her for the last 15.

I think for most they walk into a Church and can just pop their kids in the nursery, Sunday school etc etc etc. Not here. Before I let my son stay I had to explain his situations and food allergies and I had to visibly see him in case he got aggressive. Also my daughter being allergic to wheat and soy could simply not be in there without us. Crackers and goldfish were being eaten. Well, you know how kids eat! Anyway, we decided not to put the older kids in Sunday school until we checked the church out and got a feeling for the messages it was teaching. I also have to contact the Sunday school teachers, show them how to use the epi pens explain the situations and allergies. This church has a very nice set up and the pastor seemed to be teaching a very up beat, inclusive, positive message.

On a different subject. My third son constantly walks on the balls of his feet, sensory issue. He can do some damage by doing this so I decide to come up with a little game and try some inventive stuff to help him learn to correct it. You can buy special shoes for it, but I am trying to get him to learn a different behavior and recognize the behavior. Also it is important to recognize he exhibits a behavior because he has a need for that sensory input. So as he walks I kneel down in front of him and scoot backwards as he walks forward. I wrap my hands on his feet and apply some gentle pressure and we say flat feet, flat feet, flat feet HUG. The pressure is what he is getting and it is the stimulus that is causing him to walk like that. He actually does really well with this. He giggles and after a few steps gives me a hug. I think the root of correcting behaviors needs to be based in recognition of the behavior and this has done that. Now I can say, "flat feet, flat feet," and he can correct it himself for short periods of time. Wednesday, I am going to share this little trick with his OT specialist. Maybe it could work for someone else too.

I have to get back to school, but swimming tonight. The boys are really loving the lessons! We have a busy week ahead and lots to do.